In my experiences kdm uses .xinitrc and xdm uses .xsession, the only
time I ever used kdm was on a SuSE box though and they have been known
to change things around.

> ~/.xsession should be it.
> 
> For example, see /usr/X11R6/lib/X11/xdm/Xsession or wherever you have
> that installed.
> 
> Look at /usr/X11R6/share/kde/config/kdm/kdmrc or wherever you have it for
> "Session", like:
> 
>   Session=/usr/X11R6/lib/X11/xdm/Xsession
> 
> You used LFS (Linux from Scratch) for X and KDE -- I am impressed. (I also
> build entire Linux distro from source; it is a lot of work and time.)
> 
>    Jeremy C. Reed
>    http://bsd.reedmedia.net/
> 
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