In troubleshooting (and decision making in general) we often find that our basic premise is flawed.
Rethink that premise:    http://www.ixibo.com/2008/10/list-of-free-linuxunix-shell-account-providers/ 

Other solutions:

ssh -L (port number SSH tunneling):  Often useful across 443 to transcend firewalling to your own home (running of course on a unique port with keys, root disabled and wrapped for dictionary attacks, with iptables).

weechat can be ported to Android [if you have G1/G2]?  Other smartphones have chat apps?
Angel Chat (or any of other free chat sources) http://www.angel-art.com/bbs
CDMA or other network USB device on your notebook that moves with you to give you your own private IP/network.